I wish I had a well-paying job...

Granted, but now you are a self employed hooker with STDs.

I wish I can conjure up the perfect pair of boots for me.

granted, but they get stolen

I wish the GB board didn't close

You do-it's a bluegrass concert full of rednecks and drunks

I wish I wasn't lactose intolerant

Granted! You are no longer lactose intolerant.
You are instead anaphylactic style allergic to lactose.

I wish I could ride a bike.

Granted,unfortunatly with gas prices the way they are that's the only vehicle you'll ever own.

I wish I had psychic powers.

Granted, but you know too much and can't handle it so you're sent to an insane asylum

I wish I could fly.

Granted, You can fly because you're now a mosquito.But like most you're attracted to those bright lights from bug zappers,so you know what happens next.

I wish I had a million dollars.

granted, you get $1 per year for a million years

I wish I could speak Japanese fluently.

Granted! you speak it fluently but you dont understand it

I with I had mint flavored toe jam

granted. it's tainted with e. coli and salmonella

I wish I could sing well

Granted, but your voice is too high and breaks glass everytime you sing.

I wish I was done with college already.

Granted, but you can only find a job flipping burgers for the rest of your lilfe after you graduate.

I wish I wasn't allergic to anything.

Granted. You are instead virtually without any form a working immune system. You must spend the rest of your life in sterile conditions. Enjoy life bubble girl.

I wish I had a pony.

granted, but it's permanently lame, you can't ride it

I wish I had the funds to travel wherever I wanted.

Granted, but now everything is now far more expensive.

I wish I didn't have a sweet tooth.

granted, but your teeth rot out of your head and you get fat anyway

I wish I could walk in a thunderstorm without fear of getting hit by lightning

Granted but for that to happen you'd have to be a ghost.Happy Haunting!

I wish I weren't so tired right now.

granted, you have a lot of energy but nothing to do

I wish wild animals coexisted peacefully with humans

granted! but not plants are and carnivorous begin attaching everything

I wish emu's could fly

granted, now all other birds can't fly

I wish I had some sushi

Granted! two day old sushi comming your way

I wish for whoever grants this wish to have the worlds best tasting food stuffs

Yeah,thanks for that one endless.
Granted it is the world's best tasting food,everyone loves it so much that once I run out of food,I am killed by an angry mob.
You didn't think I would accually insult my cooking did you?

I wish that the person who grants my wish would live happliy ever after.

Granted! I do, but "ever after" isn't very long. I die in a car accident tomorrow.

I wish I could get our other computer hooked up to the internet!