I wrote this when I was feeling sad, very alone and unwanted, I've never felt thas lonely ness or feeling of being unwanted before I wrote this, well I have but it's never hurt before. Then again I've never had any thing to hold onto before, I never had Love like I have now, same Love I had then.

So here's a sad one for you.



I was born into this life alone; you see I was born a murderer as I took the life of my own mother. My father left me unclaimed as he left the hospital, he did leave a single piece of paper with me though, and it read a simple sentence. Upon me, as I was born was lain the curse of my life and I hold that paper still and it reads. "You demon! You will die alone for the murder of my one true love!"

Over twenty years have passed and my fathers curse has held fast upon me. I was shuffled through the foster system, from one abusive family to another until finally I had turned eighteen and was cast to the street. I had spent a few years as a sewer rat, eating at what ever fast food joint I was the nearest to. I had never realized that after a mere fifteen minutes they throw out the food that has been sitting on the hot plates, man I ate well in the off hours. I could have as many as ten burgers new in the wrapper at one time. I never even once thought of it as a bad thing.

All my life I was punched, kicked and even spit on just because I am me, and that’s not the worst of what I've had done to me but I'll spare you the details. I'm still incredibly loving and caring, through all that I never let them take my soul. I prayed every night for some one that would love me, for someone that wouldn't want to hurt me. Then one day, I'm not sure when, I'm not even to sure what today is most of the time. Um, wait where was I, oh yeah, but anyway, this one day you come up to me and you weren't repulsed by me horrid stink, or how terrible I must have looked. You just came right up to me and said "hi," I wasn't ready for that, I was waiting for you to tell me about "Gods light" or some such. But it never came, we just sat their on the curb and talked, and we talked about every thing and you never once tried to "save me." I've always been great full for that, for that day, for you talking to me, for you to see me as a person and not some stray animal.

Day after day, weak after weak you always came back for nearly a year, and we always talked and you never got religious on me and I had thanked you every day just for being their with me, for me. I do have a couple of day's that I will never forget though and one is Thursday the 23 of August, that was the day you kissed me for the first time and told me you loved me. That was the first time I thought I might be worth something, and you came back the next day and brought me to your home where I took the first real shower I had in nearly a decade, and dried off with a towel you had bought for me and I brushed my teeth with the brush you had also bought me. We then went to the barber and I got a cut and a shave, do you remember that, how I jumped when he came to shave me with that blade and you kept me calm by holding my hand? You then brought me back to your home and you gave me a key and welcomed me home, do you remember how I cried and thanked you for hours afterward?

We were married shortly after on Monday the 31 of October, that’s the other day I will never forget. I can still remember the way your family looked at me it was almost like being on the street again. But the whole time you looked so beautiful and I was so happy to finally have that one thing I had always prayed for, you loved me, and I know that right now you still do. I'm here my Love, I'm here at your hospital bed and I await your awakeing. Please wake up, please don't die! They say it's only a matter of day's if not hours but I don't believe them. Please, please don't go! Please don't leave me all alone again, I Love you! Now please wake up!