I'm not sure about all of you, but I've been a big fan of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which awards a writer with the award for the very best worst opening line of a fictitious novel. Inspired by the infamous; "It was a dark and stormy night...", opening line by British Victorian novelist and playwright Sir Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton's book Paul Clifford.


The 2011 winner of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2011 Results:

"Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories."

by Sue Fondrie of Oshkosh, WI

The winner of the 2011 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is Sue Fondrie, an associate professor of Curriculum and Instruction at the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh who works groan-inducing wordplay into her teaching and administrative duties whenever possible. Out of school, she introduces two members of the next generation to the mysteries of Star Trek, Star Wars, and--of course--the art of the bad pun.

At 26 words, Prof. Fondrie’s submission is the shortest grand prize winner in Contest history, proving that bad writing need not be prolix, or even very wordy.


Here's a link to the old winners:

Best of the Worst