It's like the biggest new report of the planet, the most infamous human alive for a number of reasons has been reportedly killed, and the planet rejoices. Here's some of the stuff I know about the as of Tuesday, most infamous living person:

Born a billionaire's son in a wealthy family that owns part of Microsoft and Boeing, and is linked to the Oil owning Royal Saudi Family.

Religious fanatic who somehow became in-league with rebels and political leaders, very much like fellow scumbags Rasputin and Che Guevara.

High ranking member of Al-Qaeda when they were being trained by Israel's troops in Pakistan during the late 80's

Became a CIA operative in 1989 and helped organize the distribution of 6 billion US dollar over a three year period to fight Russians

Took over Al-Qaeda and Afghanistan after America just up a left the country in 94 after it had been ravaged by a war the US funded.

Was linked to the initial World Trade Center bombing, the bombing of US Cole and the simultaneous embassy bombings across Africa during the mid and late 1990's. Was placed on the FBI top 10.

Was in cross-hairs of an unmanned armed drone in 1997, but Clinton didn't give the order to execute. Bill was too busy making everyone forget about Watergate and the fortunate suicide of Deputy White House Counsel Vincent Foster Jr in a park where he shot himself, gun residue was on his hand, but no blood spray from the exit wound out of the back of his head. The economy got going though, so people forgot about that, and then when the man that attacked and killed Americans on three separate occasions was not killed, this huge news story was brushed aside because Monica became bigger news.

Somehow Osama spent a week getting treatment in a CIA hospital in Sudan in 1998 and the FBI were only informed after he left.

Numerous journalists, religious leaders and operatives across the Middle East warned Europe and America that he was a serious threat to launch a full-scale attack, but these were all ignored again.

Masterminded the 9-11 attacks, on the same day that the US air-force just so happened to be running a training simulation dealing with the hypothetical situation of hijacked commuter planes. So America's heroes were unable to tell which blips on their screen were actual planes and which were the simulation, preventing them from taking action. Also, George Bush Sr was at a meeting with Osama Bin Laden's brother on the morning on 9/11 at the Ritz Carlton hotel in Washington DC, since they both work/own some of the same companies. This brother and the Bin Laden's brother-in-law also help finance George W. Bush's first oil company that eventually went bankrupt in the early 80's. But these two families working together for nearly thirty years in private business, war, and politics is all just a crazy wacky happenstance.

The 6'6 skinny, sickly, light-skinned, gray-bearded Osama sends a few video's to America where he's short, dark skinned, fat, with a black beard, but America and Europe ignore Muslim news repeatedly stating that the man in the videos is not him, because all those Muslim people look alike anyway.

Was in an English sniper's cross-hairs in 2006, but was in the company of one of his brothers and a member of the Saudi Royal Family at a meeting in Pakistan. But to avoid a possible international incident, the sniper was never given the green light. We couldn't have an billionaire-oil man or a business man potentially injured or killed, these guys own stock on Halliburton. You know, that company d**k Cheney ran that charged $90 to wash each marines weekly laundry, and then billed the US people via taxes.

Has been hiding in caves for almost a decade, but he is found in a multi-million dollar compound/mansion which just so happens to be located down th3e street from the Pakistan military training facility. And the city is a home to hundreds of retired Pakistan military leaders. The very same Pakistani soldiers who were in charge during their joint training of Al-Qaeda by them and Israeli military officials in the 80's to eliminate that pesky Russian threat.

His identification was confirmed by DNA testing, because the CIA keeps those kind of records of the people who have worked with them. He was given a burial at sea, because the Muslim faith preaches that if a grave is not safe from desecration, then the ocean it is.

He has somewhere between 18-25 children with his 4 wives. I'm sure one of them and GW's grandchildren will start a hovercraft company one day.



Ok, that was some satire, but also a lot of truth. Any thoughts?

someone eventually is going to look in my direction so I'm saying it now...

"yay" he's dead. what difference does it make really, his group can and will still function without him...

we gave that mass murdering a$$ A proper burrial and I believe it was far was better than he should have gotten, neither he nor his people would have done that for any of our people and we should have burried him in kind.

imagen in 30 years, maybe even less the hipsters wearing bin laden shirts just as they wear che shirts now just being "ironic"...

thats it, all I'm saying on the subject....

I think the bin laden thing is getting really old. It took us way too long to catch him and I think his group of terrorists will still go on even though he is no longer there. In a way it's similar to hitler because after the SS was destroyed there were several people that were still trying to get it back together. This isn't going to end the war, and in the long run I think it could cause more damage from people wanting revenge.

In some ways, he was a political pawn used to perpetuate a war. Someone may have finally gotten tired and offed his a$$.

But it was a good thing that they gave him a semi proper burial because you want to minimize any resentment that would lead to large scale attacks like what was done on 9/11. My thought on the burial at sea was so that he would become a non-person (you can't find his grave so he just disappears).