I'm waking up and trying to get some energy to get dressed for the day. My throat hurts really bad cuz the puppy pooped in my room twice and peed on my clothes. Needless to say I was very angry and screaming a lot. I guess we will see what happens next.

Watching The Real Wolfman on the History International channel.

I have nothing to do. No one wants to hang out, my car door needs to be fixed cuz the handle on the inside isn't working, there is nothing to do online, and I don't want to watch anything on tv. Ugh.

I put off this painting I'm being paid to do for someone's birthday because I had over a month, now I have a week, stupid procrastination head.

I'm trying to figure out what to do with my day. I feel kinda bummed out and low. I'm not sure why. It might just be the day or the bad dreams I had while I was sleeping.

^Felt like that all morning. I took a very long shower and now feel much better. Except the part where I'm bummed that the US is now out of the running for the World Cup.

Taking a break from cleaning (sister-in-law coming to town for a day) and packing (for Cali trip). And looking forward to the brown rice veggie sushi I picked up for dinner.

I'm about to go to my moms friends house with her. Matt couldn't fix my car door and ended up making it worse. I tried calling my cousin but he wouldn't answer the phone. He works in an auto repair shop so I'm hoping he will be able to do the work for me at a cheap price compared to taking my car to fords auto garage.

Getting ready for work at the art gallery.
When we are done me and Michael are going for some bubble gum ice cream down by the bayfront.

I'm just waking up and I feel like sh*t. I had a panic attack all morning and then when it came time to wake up there is a storm coming in. So I'm exhausted, I have a headache, my eyes hurt, and I feel a bit witchy about everything and everyone right now. Like I don't even know why but for a second it made me mad no one answered my post in the rant thread until I caught myself thinking that. Pretty much right now is a whole bunch of what's wrong with me?

^^Thanks cyn. I keep catching myself crying and then telling myself to stop. I try to be positive and then feel negative. It's a whole bunch of back and forth. I think it's also the fact that I can't talk to it about anyone because matt and zombie are way to upset about it and don't want me mentioning it.

Right now I'm watching tv. Matt and all of my friends are at work. So I'm hoping I won't get any crazy thoughts while watching movies and such on tv.

Cold calling and doing surveys for work. They want to find out what assessment services different schools offer and to see if the schools want to partner with us. It's not looking good. LOL

math hw....sorta

deadcoldgothgirl wrote:

I can't sleep. It just hit me during the night that I'm actually leaving in a month and a half. I can't stop crying. I'm scared and hurt at the same time. I'll be going out there alone and leaving everything behind. I won't be in a place I know. I won't be home. I won't have my dogs. I won't see my friends for long periods of time and worst of all I won't get to see Matt for long periods of time. I keep trying to stop crying and sleep but it isn't working. I think I'm having a panic attack.

I went through the same last year when i moved from TN to NY (well, except the leaving the BF part) I'm not going to lie, it's scary as hell, but there are tons of other people going through the exact same thing. Cyn is right, they will become your own new little family and you'll have a blast! I promise. You just got to remember that going away will make you appreciate your home so much more and make the times that you get to see Matt and your friends a whole lot sweeter. It will be hard at first and you will get homesick, but you just gotta make the best out of the situation. Have fun and be successful. I know that Matt and your friends wouldn't want you out there all sad and mopey. Make them proud!

Finally able to catch up on quickly backing-up e-mails now that "work" is out of the way.

Thanks everyone for the kind helping words.

I have to leave for work in an hour. The week off was nice. I kinda don't want to go back. It will be interesting to see if cindy has changed her grumpy mood at all since I've been gone. Hopefully since today will be my first day back in a week she will be more appreciative of the time I spend with her.

I did get a lot done today though. I called about my loans with my credit union. I called about my car because the door handle on the inside doesn't work so I have to get that replaced. I called the lady I need to talk to at the VA at CMU and I'm waiting to hear back from her. I'm still trying to get ahold of the people at finanical aid. I've been calling them for a week and their lines are so filled up I always get a busy signal.

I just got home from work. My mom brought me home little bits and pieces of left overs from when she was at her friends house but I'm still super hungry. We really don't have much in the house to eat. I think I'm going to look around for some odds and ends to eat and then watch foodnetwork or hgtv.

Went to the mall. Did a bit of shopping.
Now relaxing in bed. Can't get to comfy cause I have to make my dad's lunch.

Working on a new business partnership.

Not holding my breathe...but should be fun if it works out!

I just became an ordained minister here! Anyone can do it and it's free! Since I am of the Jewish persuasion, ya'll can now address me as Rabbi Diva.

^^Thats pretty cool.

I think I'm going to try to call my cousin to calm me down. See how her baby is and what is going on with her sisters baby that she is adopting. I don't get to talk to her as much as I would like to. I looked up to her as a kid, then she ashamed me, and now for everything she is doing I'm starting to be proud of her.

Dang! I just wasted two hours on the internet goofing off. I really need to clean up this house!

I should be taking out the trash, but I just finished with a shower and don't feel like dealing with that sort of thing. I'm thinking of just watching tv for a while and then before I go to bed forcing myself to take out the trash.

Getting ready to work on a short story.