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SPF senior member

Number of posts: 1106 Location: STL, MO :: Fashionista More Numbers: 1005743 Registration date: 2008-08-01
 | Subject: Best way to get over it Sat Dec 26, 2009 9:32 pm | |
| I am dealing with a heartbreak right now, and I am sure there are other people here who have also suffered from a breakup.
What are your best ways to get over/heal from a broken heart or breakup. |
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Morwenna star member

 Number of posts: 3690 Age: 22 Location: Montana ::  More Numbers: 1016505 Registration date: 2008-07-23
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Sat Dec 26, 2009 11:39 pm | |
| Get together with some of your best friends and go out and have fun, or stay in and curl up on the couch with a funny movie (no romances though). Sorry to hear about it though.  I hope you feel better soon. *hug!* _________________ Goths don't identify with evil, we mourn the evil in society. The fascination with death is basically a reminder to us of our own mortality. For these reasons, we wear black. ~Chris Schaffer
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BadArt23 active member

 Number of posts: 382 Age: 19 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow. :: Where You At? ::  More Numbers: 1013730 Registration date: 2008-07-25
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Sun Dec 27, 2009 3:49 pm | |
| Even though you may not feel like going out and having fun, Morwenna's suggestion is a good one. You need to keep your mind off of it and focus on other things. _________________ The world is a small box.
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Vampira132 Moderator

 Number of posts: 4297 Age: 24 Location: London 1886 :: The Victorian Woman in Black ::  More Numbers: 1109584 Registration date: 2008-07-21
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Sun Dec 27, 2009 4:36 pm | |
| Keep yourself busy thats the key. Oh and also try to find closure somewhere. _________________ Arrgghhh Zombie Kitty!!

"Brrrrraaaaaaiiiinnnnnnssssss...." |
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helen damnation Moderator

 Number of posts: 4648 Age: 41 Location: Swinging from the stars :: Queen of the Damned ::  More Numbers: 1112898 Registration date: 2008-07-21
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:30 pm | |
| As said above, take care of and indulge yourself and never ever blame yourself or think that you are a lesser person. Sometimes things just end in a organic way and it wasnt meant to be - this does not devalue you in any way whatsoever _________________  Someone has said that it requires less mental effort to condemn than to think. Emma Goldman |
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RedAngel star member

 Number of posts: 3786 Age: 33 Location: CT/NC: Josephine on my mind ::  More Numbers: 848232 Registration date: 2008-12-01
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Sun Dec 27, 2009 10:30 pm | |
| The ladies' advice here is very good, SPF. Time with friends, taking care of yourself, finding closure and having fun in other ways are all good ways to get back to being happy again. I'd add this: remember that you'll love again, and next time will be better.  Take good care of you! We're here and rooting for you.  |
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Dark Gentleman active member

 Number of posts: 394 Age: 39 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada ::  More Numbers: 1008440 Registration date: 2008-07-29
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Mon Dec 28, 2009 4:19 am | |
| | RedAngel wrote: | The ladies' advice here is very good, SPF. Time with friends, taking care of yourself, finding closure and having fun in other ways are all good ways to get back to being happy again. I'd add this: remember that you'll love again, and next time will be better. Take good care of you! We're here and rooting for you.  |
Ah, this thread is finally here. After reading all this, I must say I do agree with everyone here. Forgivness is another way of finding closure as well (even though it was scary as hell, but I did it).
I had women asking me out for the New Year's party, but I had to decline for that fact I felt pressured and it was kinda hard to choose too. At least some of them were respectful about it, and 2 of them were pouting , omg.
Overall, I didn't feel ready for dating just yet.  _________________  |
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deadcoldgothgirl star member

 Number of posts: 3952 Age: 20 Location: Roseville MI ::  More Numbers: 1017392 Registration date: 2008-07-24
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Mon Dec 28, 2009 6:34 am | |
| Well personally I've had several of this type of thing happening. So my cures are as follows....
- Go out with a lot of friends. You may feel like crap but them talking to you seems to dull your mind a bit.
- Cry. Put on a ton of sappy break up songs and cry. Crying is your bodys way of releasing chemicals and such to make yourself get over things faster and making things easier.
- Plan revenge. Even though you might be hurt and never follow through with the plans it somehow gives you a new sense of empowerment over the situation.
- Time. No one likes to hear this answer but it is an unchangable human fact. Time heals all wounds.
- Talk to people. A lot. Talking to people makes you think more clearly on the subject and helps for the healing process. Even if one of the people you talk to is your ex. Sometimes just talking the problem out with them can make you feel better about it being over. But the ex being willing to talk to you isn't always the case.
- Do what you like to do. Do it often. I like to write so I end up writing a lot. If you like to shop then do it but not on a huge scale. Go to a dollar store or thrift store and get little trinkets or a nice new cheap outfit to go with a new you. There are always sales on cheap make up as well if that is your thing.
Everything is a ritual in order to get yourself back into shape. Same thing with a healing wound. You take the steps needed to make sure that wound is clean and heals properly. This is the exact same thing. Not all of my advice may work for you personally, but I'm sure you can move things around, add/subtract, or even create a new ritual to best help you. _________________  "I know that we are going to be fine. And the tattoo mistakes are going to fade over time. As long as we live, time passes by, and we won't get it back when we die." |
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SPF senior member

Number of posts: 1106 Location: STL, MO :: Fashionista More Numbers: 1005743 Registration date: 2008-08-01
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:34 pm | |
| Thanks this is great advice.
I have found that time is a great way to heal, however I still cant listen to certain songs by The Cure or watch romantic movies lol.
I figured this thread could help other people too, so here is my advice/methods that have helped me.
Shopping an awesome makeover Talking with friends about their experiences. Focusing on school work or a job |
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DarkDreamer senior member

 Number of posts: 649 Age: 20 Location: Boston, Massachusetts More Numbers: 953662 Registration date: 2008-09-10
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:35 am | |
| If you are at all spiritual, sometimes going through cleansing rituals are a huge help.
After a very traumatic and abrupt break up, I went through two gallons of holy water and nearly a dozen smudge sticks to clean my home, took a long, freezing shower to cleanse my body, and meditated to cleanse my soul. These things helped helped me keep everything under control until I was at a point in my life where I could better deal with my past trials. Everyone has different rituals for this sort of things, but I believe that rituals can offer a lot if you're open to them; closure, cleansing, inspiration, ways to cope and move on, gathering up the broken pieces of your life and trying to get them back in order. |
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RedAngel star member

 Number of posts: 3786 Age: 33 Location: CT/NC: Josephine on my mind ::  More Numbers: 848232 Registration date: 2008-12-01
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:14 pm | |
| ^^ That's a really good suggestion, DD. A ritual gives you the chance to mark a major life change -- and it's something you conduct yourself, not something that happens to you, so it puts some power back in your own hands. |
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lollirot senior member

 Number of posts: 765 Age: 20 :: Horror Aficionado More Numbers: 1016375 Registration date: 2008-07-23
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:26 am | |
| Writing it out helps. Well, it helped me when I got over an exbf. You shouldn't really keep what you're feeling bottled up, especially if you're heartbroken. Talk it out or write it out. |
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Bone_Shaker junior member

 Number of posts: 26 Age: 21 Location: America ::  More Numbers: 262651 Registration date: 2010-02-17
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Fri Feb 19, 2010 3:58 am | |
| Join a roller derby team. That's how I got over mine. _________________ You are the only light there is for yourself, my friend.
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helen damnation Moderator

 Number of posts: 4648 Age: 41 Location: Swinging from the stars :: Queen of the Damned ::  More Numbers: 1112898 Registration date: 2008-07-21
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:36 pm | |
| Fire _________________  Someone has said that it requires less mental effort to condemn than to think. Emma Goldman |
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Ginger_Snaps vip member

 Number of posts: 2443 Age: 23 Location: The Otherworld :: Werewolf ::  More Numbers: 1018257 Registration date: 2008-07-23
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Fri Feb 19, 2010 10:17 pm | |
| | helen damnation wrote: | | Fire |
Yes, arson is very effective._________________ I'm a werewolf, not a vampire!   |
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Madelchai senior member

 Number of posts: 676 Age: 28 Location: Massachusetts ::  More Numbers: 1019319 Registration date: 2008-07-21
 | Subject: Re: Best way to get over it Fri Feb 19, 2010 10:52 pm | |
| Paint colorful words on rocks and throw them through the offending party's bedroom window in the middle of the night. _________________ We are Toy Soldiers marching for the cause, to build robots and babies with buzzsaws. It's the grand master plan, a Utopian Playland.  |
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